We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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