I'm passing your future prison.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So much Jack, so little girl.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
