Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
