Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
