Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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