Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
