I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
