dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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