Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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