hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
