bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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