the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
