oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
