Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
