the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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