just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
