My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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