when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
