You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
