My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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