Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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