Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and she was petting her beer can
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The air was thick with penises
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
