Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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