I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
