Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
