what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
