I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
