So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
