like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
