Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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