Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
