there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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