he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
