I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
