I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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