at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
