At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So vagazzling was a success
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
