i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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