Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
