im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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