i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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