just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
