Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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