she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
