if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
