There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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