we're blogging at a bar
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
