Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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