I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
