im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
